I awoke suddenly this morning in a cold sweat. The cause? A nightmare about my Granddad. He’d been diagnosed with a terminal illness and whilst I tried to fly back to see him, he’d passed away the day before I arrived. I was inconsolable, to be honest I think I may have woken myself up by crying in my sleep.
Whilst meeting and getting to know my extended English family has been great, it’s certainly reminded me a lot about the close bond my family in Australia share. Over the past few weeks they have been in my thoughts more and more. Often with the premise of somebody being ill and me being stuck half away across the world, powerless to act.
With these thoughts a constant undercurrent I’ve been pondering the question ‘Can I make a choice to not have my family in my life?’ By committing to a European life that’s effectively what I’m doing and to be honest at times I’m not entirely sure I’m up to it. I’m plagued by confliction! I have a desire to explore the world and seek out contentment, but that flies directly in the face of being close to my family.
There is no easy solution to this situation, so I have to fall back to trusting my gut feel. I’m confident within myself that the path I’m taking is the path I need to be on. Whilst it involves sacrificing family comforts for now, this path will ensure a brighter future for not only myself but also my relationship with my family.
So whilst at times missing my family can be a bitter pill to swallow, I have faith in myself and the choices I’m making. I’m on the path to balance and contentment and I feel closer to those goals with every passing day. Put simply, I can’t turn back now when I’ve already come so far.
If you’re out there travelling and you find yourself missing your family, remember that you made the choice to be in that situation, probably for a good reason too. Recall that reason and if it still rings true to you, then have confidence in yourself and your choices and move forward without regrets!
To my family in Australia reading this, know that you are in my thoughts and I wish you nothing but the best.
Love,
Adam
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