So I didn't actually fly this plane, but the symbolism was too perfect!
On what was my Thursday morning I sent out what could have interpreted as a curiously random tweet.
” I’m overwhelmed by a feeling of uncertainity and am reluctant to take the path laid out in front of me…. “
Let’s throw some context on the situation then shall we! When I sent that tweet I was sitting about five feet to the left of that photo. I was waiting to board my Thai Airlines Boeing 747 enroute to Melbourne via Bangkok.
I’d kept everyone at home in the dark about my return so my arrival at Tullamarine was discreet. No ‘Welcome Home’ signs obscuring friendly faces. Nope, this was to be a surprise return. The old ‘knock at the parents door and ask them to put the kettle on’ routine. How’d it go?
Worked a treat to be fair! Let’s go through the reactions:
Mum: Initially sat on the couch for about 20 seconds before it registered, then she jumped up and down repeatably screaming random things like ‘I can’t believe it!’ & ‘What does this mean?’
Dad: Was in bed and was showed a similar disbelief to Mum when I popped my head in the room. Differed in Mum’s response with a significant lack of jumping and repeated screaming! Dad choose to express himself a heart felt hug.
Anth (Brother): A state of shock combined with a few alcoholic beverages ensured that my Brother’s ‘bromance’ feelings come to the fore! I think he hugged me more than what Mum did! Pleased to see me then.
Grandfather: The look of surprise and delight on my beloved Grandfather’s face was something I’ll never forget. He was certain that saying hello to me was the last thing he was expecting to do! The benefit of Granddad’s memory is that I might get to experience it all again this morning! lol only jesting Granddad 
Ash (Sister): Ash wasn’t home when I got in, so when she arrived I was able to go out and greet her at the car. I think she was pleased that I’m going to be home for her 21st next week. No costume though 
But what about me? How did I react?
Me: To be honest I was a little uncomfortable. Everyone was so delighted and happy to see me and whilst I was certainly happy to see everyone I was consumed by conflict. Returning to Australia was not my preferred option. It’s the path that’s been laid in front of me due to financial reasons but to be honest it feels underwhelming to be starting down that path. So despite being very happy to see everyone, I was feeling a little down. I almost felt guilty for not being as happy as everyone else was.
What next then?
It’s too early to tell. I’ve got to sort some things out over the next few weeks. One thing’s for sure, Illuminated Traveller continues on, albeit with an unexpected Australian theme! When I wrote my goals for 2010 I knew I was coming back. So goals like ‘five countries in 2010′ still stand! It’s just more likely to be the likes of Thailand and New Zealand rather than Spain and Portugal.
I’ll paint a more clear picture once I’ve had some time to contemplate the future. I’ll leave you now with a little quote.
“Every path has it’s positives. Every path has it’s negatives. It’s up to the individual to make the most of the situation”
That’s little statement is going to be really important to remember over the next six months…..
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I’m sure it will all work out. You have a good spirit. Remember there’s lots in Australia to explore.
Good luck. I know how this feels.
@Don Thanks mate. That is the key for me I think. Getting out and exploring Australia. I haven’t done that before!
@Lorien Any tips on how you got over it?